Good morning my lovelies! This will be by far my most honest and raw blog to date. It's something that I have dealt with my whole life and will probably explain a lot about who I am, why I react the way I do to certain situations by most of all, change your perception of me.
So here goes...
I have always been that petite, thin girl that everyone assumed comes naturally. That I don't have to try to watch what I eat or exercise bc, well let's face it, I've always been thin. OOOOHHHH how I HATE this perception of me. How far from the truth it is. Yes, I was always under 100lbs growing up, only 5 foot tall, had a face full of freckles, a 6 pack I did not have to work for and could stuff my face with all the tasty cakes, carbs, cupackes, cookies...I wanted and did not gain a pound. So how is what I said so far from the truth? I became an adult and my body changed. I suddenly had a butt....eeek!!!, I had hips (yes people still look at me in disbelief when I say this) and I had back fat. Back fat, oh how this was an incredible wake up call that I had. I could no longer indulge myself in all those delish fatty foods and still have that 100lb figure with next to no body fat. I had Haley at this time and blamed it all on that. The fact is, your body goes through several changes over many years and you have to adjust your lifestyle if you want to maintain a certain look and feel.
For all those people who look at me and say, "oh you've always been skinny. Look at me, I'm fat." This is just as hurtful to me as it would be for me to call you fat. Like I don't know what it's like to also gain weight, have a mid section, have my clothes suddenly become tight and no longer fit. Just because I was a size 0 doesn't mean that becoming a size 4 didn't make me feel fat. You would too if you gained 2 sizes! I become very defensive when people say this to me, especially those close to me or those whom knew me all my life. Being on the opposite ends doesn't change a thing about how hurtful it is to call me skinny and accuse me of not knowing what it's like to be fat or overweight. The difference between you and I is that I CARE about my looks, how I FEEL about myself and I DON'T care about what others think about me. Most importantly I WORK MY ASS OFF to maintain a certain look. Yes, I slack off and gain those pounds back but this time, it's very different.
This time I have changed my diet....WHAT?!?!?!? Who is this person??? It's the new me. The one that cares about her body from outside to inside. The one who wants to be a great role model for her children but live long enough to see them live a hopefully successful, wonderful and happy life. The one who sets goals and is determined to succeed, meet them, and surpass them. Because that is a wonderful characteristic to show my children. I do things for ME. Not for the person who constantly puts me down, the dirty looks I get from jealous (whom I call LAZY) people, the quiet whispering of those talking behind my back....it's all for ME. I truly enjoy getting fit and seeing results. It's a stress reliever, I have more energy to chase after my kids and keep up with them, it makes me a role model, an inspiration to others, and one day, when I feel confident enough to become certified and train others, I can.
To go into details about my diet and exercise this is what I do. I log into myfitnesspal every day and log the foods I eat and the calories I burned working out. I was lucky enough that my hubby got me my fitness band I wanted to help me track my calories burned. I spend 5-6 days at the gym working out and if I can not get to the gym, I work out from home. I use my beachbody workouts or I google workouts to do at home. I go out and buy the equipment I need to do them at home. I work out with a friend sometimes, I take fitness classes at my gym, I take vitamins and drink protein drinks after my workouts. All this while eating a high protein diet and counting my calories and believe me, I eat a lot of food during the day! I have to in order to eat the 1533-1950 calories a day. It all depends on how many calories I burn working out as to how many I can add to my daily 1533 goal. I eat less than 60 grams of sugar a day and as high as 112 grams of protein a day. I sacrifice things I used to love to eat to get the figure I want.
So talk about me all you want, make fun of me, hate me, be envious of me, but do not EVER say it just comes naturally and that I do not work my ass of for it! My whole family is pear shaped...TRUST me I HAVE to eat right and exercise. It's a decision I made for ME and one that I will NEVER apologize for.
Now excuse me as I go eat my high protein breakfast with my hot tea with stevia and then go workout for an hour. ;)
Much love!